Little kid, why did you capture that locust? I am going to throw it into fire. Why do you have to kill it? Because this is really fun!
2
Miss, why would you spray your insect repellent into the ant hole? You’ve killed a lot of ants. Because our guests hate seeing ants on their tableware, and there are too many ants in this hole.
3 Why did you capture the butterfly? Because it is so pretty that I am going to make it into a specimen. Don’t you think you are doing harm to a beautiful thing? A butterfly can live no longer than several months and will die anyways. Rather than killing the beauty, I think I have reserved it and made it eternal. You are talking from the point of view of human beings, but if you stand in the foot of a butterfly, you will understand that several months for a human being is a whole life for a butterfly, so you might have just killed an 18-year old. Why should she be grateful for you?
4
How does it look like when you shoot at a capital criminal? The gunshot sounds quite loud. The criminal was still tetanizing on the floor after he’d been shot twice. I approached him and gave me two more shots, and this time, he really died. His blood was spreading on the floor. After the doctor testified his death, the men from crematory pulled the dead body away. For how many times have you shot at a capital criminal? This is the first time. How do you feel about it? The criminal was very young, and he appeared to be stronger than common people. A common people will definitely be killed after they were shot twice, but this man wastes bullets. Are you sympathetic with him? He deserves it.
5
How many pigs do you usually kill each day? About fifteen. I noticed the procedures of you killing a pig, and I was impressed by your perfect skill. Practice makes perfect. Actually, I was all of a tremble the first time when I was trying to kill a pig. It was really miserable to hear a pig screaming. But I was getting used to it after a couple of times. The white knife goes in and the red knife comes out. That’s all. And now we are equipped with more advanced technology—a pig is firstly electrocuted and losses consciousness before we kill it. How do you feel about the job you are doing? The number of pigs that I killed is an index of people’s life level. The bigger the number is, the better the lives of people is. I hope that more advanced automation process line for killing pigs will be developed, and mechanised butcher process will be realized, so that I also can work under a clean and comfortable environment.
6
How come there is such a thick layer of dead mosquitoes on the floor? It is a promotional exhibition for our new product “super killer” insect spray. We sprayed about 1CC of the product in a room full of mosquitoes, and then shut off the door. The ratio of effective killing is up to 100% in 15 minutes. Our “super killer” has two advantages over those of our competitors:
Economic. All mosquitoes in a 15-squre-meter room will be killed in 3 seconds with only 1CC of “super killer”. A bottle of 200CC can guarantee that you and your family spend a comfortable summer. Nontoxic. Our product passed the inspection of the Ministry of Health, and it is free of any harm to your health. You do not have to worry about anything.
7 Why do you want to kill this hen? Because it is too old to lay eggs, and I will kill it and make chicken stew for my family.
8 How many ox do you kill per day? One or two. Could you describe the procedures that are used to butcher an ox? First, we electrocute them and then kill them. How do you select the ones to be killed? We choose the sick or the old ones. Some are too old to work; others can no longer grow any bigger. An ox can no longer grow any bigger? Yes, just like the dwarfs. They were sold to us because they are not capable of labouring. I heard that before they die, ox shed tears. Yes, that brute cries, knowing they are dying in minutes.
9 How many dogs do you kill per day in your restaurant? More than ten, and even more if the business goes well. How do you source the dogs? They were all sent over by those who are specialized in breeding dogs. Don’t worry. We do not accept the poisoned dogs. You may select live dogs on-site in our restaurant, and watch the cook killing it. The dog meat is guaranteed to be as fresh as you want. The cooks in my restaurant are very smart. They can kill dogs as well as they deal with chickens. Are there many people ordering dog meat? Quite a lot. Especially during winter, many people love having dog meat because it is believed that it can nourish our insides. People also have dog meat even in summer. Enjoy dog meat in my air-conditioned restaurant. It is awesome. You may not believe it but dog meat can be used to test a boy’s virginity. A virgin can get a nosebleed if he eats dog meat in summer. I saw a guy having nosebleed after eating dog meat. He is the only one at the table who had nosebleed. A truth virgin he is.
10 Why did you kill the panda? For money, evidently. A piece of panda skin cost 100,000 yuan. Didn’t you know that panda is the first-class protected animal in our country? Sure I did. But I didn’t know I would be sentenced to death just for killing a couple of pandas. No body can believe it that the life of a brute cost more than that of a person! But it is too late for me to cry over spilt milk now.
11 You used to be a hero who killed tigers. Can you please tell us more about your story? Oh, it happened decades ago. I killed two tigers, four panthers and about ten wolves. The governor rewarded me with a testimonial. Look, over there, it is hanging on the wall. They also granted me two scatterguns. There used to be tigers attacking pigs in our village, so we killed them off. Now it is forbidden to kill tigers, and you will be thrown into jail for killing them. In fact, I haven’t seen a tiger for about ten years. Would you still kill it if you could see one in future? I am too old to kill them, and I could be turned into a meal for the tiger, and then the tiger and I may call it even, since I killed two of them when I was young. We have to follow government’s rules for protecting tigers.
12
Do you like fishing? Yes, very much. I go fishing almost once every week. How do you feel when you go fishing? Fishing is a matter of peaceful mind and patience. You have to wait patiently for the fish to rise to a bait, which is a general’s battle. If the fish swallow the bait, you win.
13
Why do you like killing rats? A rat crossing the street is chased by all. That dirty thing is so disgusting, and I just like it to kill them. Can you tell us about your experience of killing rats? You bet that I am an expert in this area. When I was a kid, I made a bow for shooting rats, and I was so good at it that I could catch nine out of ten. The teeth of rats are toxic. Once I captured a rat that turned back and bit my hand. A few seconds later a big swell showed up. I also used a cage to catch rats and then immerged the cage into water. About 20 minutes later, the rat was still alive, and a few minutes later, it could run around again. I used to pour gasoline onto rats, and lit them up. The flaming rat dashed around madly for about ten miles and then died. Another time, a pregnant rat was hunting food carrying its big belly. I smashed it with a brick. There was also another time; I saw two rats, a female and a male mating in a gutter. I threw a brick onto them, and the one on top died, while the one below kicked off the dead body on top of it and ran away. I was too gentle to kill two birds with one stone.
14 You have received the money you wanted, but why did you kill the hostage you had kidnapped? If I did not kill him and clean up all evidence, the police would have easily found me. But you were arrested by the police anyways. If I didn’t kill the hostage, I could get caught even earlier.
15
Mr. Tom, could you please tell us how you established the meritorious service at Vietnam War? A battlefield is not at all the video games played by kids. Nobody gives you three opportunities at the real battlefield, where one gunshot may take away your life. Many new soldiers were scared to pee in their pants the first time when they presented at a battle. You may have one more chance of survival if you could kill one more enemy. Any one who is not on our side is our enemy. The Vietnams were very cunning. Any of them, including women, kids and the old ones could take out guns and shoot at you. The most important thing one should bear in mind is that one must shoot before the Vietnams took out their guns, otherwise, you could lose your life. They didn’t agree with me but they were all dead and I am still alive. I am the only survivor in our rank, and that is how I rendered the meritorious service. I would never go back to Vietnam. It is a horrible place, where the ghosts of my fellow guys and my enemies are haunting.
16 Can you describe the car accident in detail? I played majiang all night long, and the next morning I was very sleepy when I started driving, but I held my own so that I would not fall asleep. But I still fell asleep without know it when I drove to the Yellow Crane Tower next to the Wuhan Bridge. My car was still moving on when I was asleep; it drove onto the sidewalk and killed five people. What are those people who you killed? They are the tourists touring around the Yellow Crane Tower, three adults and two kids. What do you want to say to the victims? I am extremely sorry. I am a person with family, too, so I hope the government would be merciful on me, and I promise I will never drive against the traffic in my life.
17 You are a famous gastronomist. I heard that you enjoy eating turtles. Would you tell us some of your recipes? There are many ways of cooking turtles, steamed, teriyaki, etc. I personally prefer the bakd turtle. Here is the recipe: first, reserve the turtle in clean water for one month, so that it may spit out all the dirty stuff inside, and then, bake it on mild fire. Dip the head of the turtle into a sauce plate (with wine, soya sauce, vinegar, and pepper). When the body of the turtle is baked, it will naturally outstretch his neck and drink the sauce because of thirsty. After it drinks up the sauce and the flavour spreads all over its body, the turtle will definitely taste good.
18
Why did you capture the frog? Because I like eating frog meat. But they can eat a lot of vermin if you leave it alive. Well, this is exactly the biological chain. The vermin are eaten by frogs whom are eaten by me. But you will be eaten by whom? Is it fair for the frog?
19 How is the business of your paper mill? Not bad. We have currently recruited over ten young men, and we are one of the outstanding private-owned companies in the district. Where do you discharge the industrial wastewater? We discharge it to the Huancheng river, which flows into the Yangtse River. There used to be many fish, shrimp and crabs in the Huancheng river when I was a kid. But now there is nothing in it, and it stinks. Well, I should not be the one to be blamed. There are also the power station, the steel factories, the dyehouses, the cement plants, etc. It is not fair that I be the only one who is responsible for the polluted Huancheng River.
20 Do you know why Zhang Gang committed suicide? No, I don’t. I don’t know about him. Have a look at his last words, which says that Zhang Gang killed himself because he found it hopeless falling in love with you. Really? I don’t want to read it, because it has nothing to do with me. He killed himself and I was just taken as an excuse for him doing it.
21 Probably you can say something to us. Dying people speak true. I am shameful for having participated in the Nanjing massacre. The brutal scenes in my memory are upsetting me while I am at the gate of death. However, isn’t it also a brutal massacre when the American dropped two atom bombs onto Hiroshima? Suppose the Chinese invaded Tokyo, are you sure that they would not initiate a Tokyo massacre? Who can say that NATO’s bombing against Serbia is a war of justice? I prey for peace. Wars are always something brutal.
22 As a movie director, how do you think about your movie “Natural Born Killer”? I had a lot to express, for instance, violence, fear, sex, love, and media when I was making the movie. However, as I watched it again years after, I found there were too many personal opinions involved in this film. So many that it appears to be procrastinate in the last half of the movie. I should have allowed the story itself to speak more, and asked the characters to keep silent. Why did you exhibit violence so baldly? There is so many bloody scenes in it. I intended to present a century-end fairy tale—a violent prince and a white-snow princess. They madly killed around and then returned to the beautiful forests to breed their offspring. You are selling violence, fear, insanity and damage via the form of a movie, aren’t you? Oh, it is just a movie. Nobody died in reality. I was simply expressing love in an alternative way. The Chinese believe that “to protect lives is to protect hearts”. When the heart of killing is provoked, the opportunities for living will be gone. Do you agree with it? Sorry, I am not capable of understand the traditional Chinese philosophies. It is really hard for me.
吴幼明 2007-03-22 00:39:31
对二十二名杀生者的访问/吴幼明
吴幼明
感谢张玉然小姐为我翻译了这篇小说!
An Interview With 22 Massacres
By WU Youming
1
Little kid, why did you capture that locust?
I am going to throw it into fire.
Why do you have to kill it?
Because this is really fun!
2
Miss, why would you spray your insect repellent into the ant hole? You’ve killed a lot of ants.
Because our guests hate seeing ants on their tableware, and there are too many ants in this hole.
3
Why did you capture the butterfly?
Because it is so pretty that I am going to make it into a specimen.
Don’t you think you are doing harm to a beautiful thing?
A butterfly can live no longer than several months and will die anyways. Rather than killing the beauty, I think I have reserved it and made it eternal.
You are talking from the point of view of human beings, but if you stand in the foot of a butterfly, you will understand that several months for a human being is a whole life for a butterfly, so you might have just killed an 18-year old. Why should she be grateful for you?
4
How does it look like when you shoot at a capital criminal?
The gunshot sounds quite loud. The criminal was still tetanizing on the floor after he’d been shot twice. I approached him and gave me two more shots, and this time, he really died. His blood was spreading on the floor. After the doctor testified his death, the men from crematory pulled the dead body away.
For how many times have you shot at a capital criminal?
This is the first time.
How do you feel about it?
The criminal was very young, and he appeared to be stronger than common people. A common people will definitely be killed after they were shot twice, but this man wastes bullets.
Are you sympathetic with him?
He deserves it.
5
How many pigs do you usually kill each day?
About fifteen.
I noticed the procedures of you killing a pig, and I was impressed by your perfect skill.
Practice makes perfect. Actually, I was all of a tremble the first time when I was trying to kill a pig. It was really miserable to hear a pig screaming. But I was getting used to it after a couple of times. The white knife goes in and the red knife comes out. That’s all. And now we are equipped with more advanced technology—a pig is firstly electrocuted and losses consciousness before we kill it.
How do you feel about the job you are doing?
The number of pigs that I killed is an index of people’s life level. The bigger the number is, the better the lives of people is. I hope that more advanced automation process line for killing pigs will be developed, and mechanised butcher process will be realized, so that I also can work under a clean and comfortable environment.
6
How come there is such a thick layer of dead mosquitoes on the floor?
It is a promotional exhibition for our new product “super killer” insect spray. We sprayed about 1CC of the product in a room full of mosquitoes, and then shut off the door. The ratio of effective killing is up to 100% in 15 minutes. Our “super killer” has two advantages over those of our competitors:
Economic. All mosquitoes in a 15-squre-meter room will be killed in 3 seconds with only 1CC of “super killer”. A bottle of 200CC can guarantee that you and your family spend a comfortable summer.
Nontoxic. Our product passed the inspection of the Ministry of Health, and it is free of any harm to your health. You do not have to worry about anything.
7
Why do you want to kill this hen?
Because it is too old to lay eggs, and I will kill it and make chicken stew for my family.
8
How many ox do you kill per day?
One or two.
Could you describe the procedures that are used to butcher an ox?
First, we electrocute them and then kill them.
How do you select the ones to be killed?
We choose the sick or the old ones. Some are too old to work; others can no longer grow any bigger.
An ox can no longer grow any bigger?
Yes, just like the dwarfs. They were sold to us because they are not capable of labouring.
I heard that before they die, ox shed tears.
Yes, that brute cries, knowing they are dying in minutes.
9
How many dogs do you kill per day in your restaurant?
More than ten, and even more if the business goes well.
How do you source the dogs?
They were all sent over by those who are specialized in breeding dogs. Don’t worry. We do not accept the poisoned dogs. You may select live dogs on-site in our restaurant, and watch the cook killing it. The dog meat is guaranteed to be as fresh as you want. The cooks in my restaurant are very smart. They can kill dogs as well as they deal with chickens.
Are there many people ordering dog meat?
Quite a lot. Especially during winter, many people love having dog meat because it is believed that it can nourish our insides. People also have dog meat even in summer. Enjoy dog meat in my air-conditioned restaurant. It is awesome. You may not believe it but dog meat can be used to test a boy’s virginity. A virgin can get a nosebleed if he eats dog meat in summer. I saw a guy having nosebleed after eating dog meat. He is the only one at the table who had nosebleed. A truth virgin he is.
10
Why did you kill the panda?
For money, evidently. A piece of panda skin cost 100,000 yuan.
Didn’t you know that panda is the first-class protected animal in our country?
Sure I did. But I didn’t know I would be sentenced to death just for killing a couple of pandas. No body can believe it that the life of a brute cost more than that of a person! But it is too late for me to cry over spilt milk now.
11
You used to be a hero who killed tigers. Can you please tell us more about your story?
Oh, it happened decades ago. I killed two tigers, four panthers and about ten wolves. The governor rewarded me with a testimonial. Look, over there, it is hanging on the wall. They also granted me two scatterguns. There used to be tigers attacking pigs in our village, so we killed them off. Now it is forbidden to kill tigers, and you will be thrown into jail for killing them. In fact, I haven’t seen a tiger for about ten years.
Would you still kill it if you could see one in future?
I am too old to kill them, and I could be turned into a meal for the tiger, and then the tiger and I may call it even, since I killed two of them when I was young. We have to follow government’s rules for protecting tigers.
12
Do you like fishing?
Yes, very much. I go fishing almost once every week.
How do you feel when you go fishing?
Fishing is a matter of peaceful mind and patience. You have to wait patiently for the fish to rise to a bait, which is a general’s battle. If the fish swallow the bait, you win.
13
Why do you like killing rats?
A rat crossing the street is chased by all. That dirty thing is so disgusting, and I just like it to kill them.
Can you tell us about your experience of killing rats?
You bet that I am an expert in this area. When I was a kid, I made a bow for shooting rats, and I was so good at it that I could catch nine out of ten. The teeth of rats are toxic. Once I captured a rat that turned back and bit my hand. A few seconds later a big swell showed up. I also used a cage to catch rats and then immerged the cage into water. About 20 minutes later, the rat was still alive, and a few minutes later, it could run around again. I used to pour gasoline onto rats, and lit them up. The flaming rat dashed around madly for about ten miles and then died. Another time, a pregnant rat was hunting food carrying its big belly. I smashed it with a brick. There was also another time; I saw two rats, a female and a male mating in a gutter. I threw a brick onto them, and the one on top died, while the one below kicked off the dead body on top of it and ran away. I was too gentle to kill two birds with one stone.
14
You have received the money you wanted, but why did you kill the hostage you had kidnapped?
If I did not kill him and clean up all evidence, the police would have easily found me.
But you were arrested by the police anyways.
If I didn’t kill the hostage, I could get caught even earlier.
15
Mr. Tom, could you please tell us how you established the meritorious service at Vietnam War?
A battlefield is not at all the video games played by kids. Nobody gives you three opportunities at the real battlefield, where one gunshot may take away your life. Many new soldiers were scared to pee in their pants the first time when they presented at a battle. You may have one more chance of survival if you could kill one more enemy. Any one who is not on our side is our enemy. The Vietnams were very cunning. Any of them, including women, kids and the old ones could take out guns and shoot at you. The most important thing one should bear in mind is that one must shoot before the Vietnams took out their guns, otherwise, you could lose your life. They didn’t agree with me but they were all dead and I am still alive. I am the only survivor in our rank, and that is how I rendered the meritorious service. I would never go back to Vietnam. It is a horrible place, where the ghosts of my fellow guys and my enemies are haunting.
16
Can you describe the car accident in detail?
I played majiang all night long, and the next morning I was very sleepy when I started driving, but I held my own so that I would not fall asleep. But I still fell asleep without know it when I drove to the Yellow Crane Tower next to the Wuhan Bridge. My car was still moving on when I was asleep; it drove onto the sidewalk and killed five people.
What are those people who you killed?
They are the tourists touring around the Yellow Crane Tower, three adults and two kids.
What do you want to say to the victims?
I am extremely sorry. I am a person with family, too, so I hope the government would be merciful on me, and I promise I will never drive against the traffic in my life.
17
You are a famous gastronomist. I heard that you enjoy eating turtles. Would you tell us some of your recipes?
There are many ways of cooking turtles, steamed, teriyaki, etc. I personally prefer the bakd turtle. Here is the recipe: first, reserve the turtle in clean water for one month, so that it may spit out all the dirty stuff inside, and then, bake it on mild fire. Dip the head of the turtle into a sauce plate (with wine, soya sauce, vinegar, and pepper). When the body of the turtle is baked, it will naturally outstretch his neck and drink the sauce because of thirsty. After it drinks up the sauce and the flavour spreads all over its body, the turtle will definitely taste good.
18
Why did you capture the frog?
Because I like eating frog meat.
But they can eat a lot of vermin if you leave it alive.
Well, this is exactly the biological chain. The vermin are eaten by frogs whom are eaten by me.
But you will be eaten by whom? Is it fair for the frog?
19
How is the business of your paper mill?
Not bad. We have currently recruited over ten young men, and we are one of the outstanding private-owned companies in the district.
Where do you discharge the industrial wastewater?
We discharge it to the Huancheng river, which flows into the Yangtse River.
There used to be many fish, shrimp and crabs in the Huancheng river when I was a kid. But now there is nothing in it, and it stinks.
Well, I should not be the one to be blamed. There are also the power station, the steel factories, the dyehouses, the cement plants, etc. It is not fair that I be the only one who is responsible for the polluted Huancheng River.
20
Do you know why Zhang Gang committed suicide?
No, I don’t. I don’t know about him.
Have a look at his last words, which says that Zhang Gang killed himself because he found it hopeless falling in love with you.
Really? I don’t want to read it, because it has nothing to do with me. He killed himself and I was just taken as an excuse for him doing it.
21
Probably you can say something to us. Dying people speak true.
I am shameful for having participated in the Nanjing massacre. The brutal scenes in my memory are upsetting me while I am at the gate of death. However, isn’t it also a brutal massacre when the American dropped two atom bombs onto Hiroshima? Suppose the Chinese invaded Tokyo, are you sure that they would not initiate a Tokyo massacre? Who can say that NATO’s bombing against Serbia is a war of justice? I prey for peace. Wars are always something brutal.
22
As a movie director, how do you think about your movie “Natural Born Killer”?
I had a lot to express, for instance, violence, fear, sex, love, and media when I was making the movie. However, as I watched it again years after, I found there were too many personal opinions involved in this film. So many that it appears to be procrastinate in the last half of the movie. I should have allowed the story itself to speak more, and asked the characters to keep silent.
Why did you exhibit violence so baldly? There is so many bloody scenes in it.
I intended to present a century-end fairy tale—a violent prince and a white-snow princess. They madly killed around and then returned to the beautiful forests to breed their offspring.
You are selling violence, fear, insanity and damage via the form of a movie, aren’t you?
Oh, it is just a movie. Nobody died in reality. I was simply expressing love in an alternative way.
The Chinese believe that “to protect lives is to protect hearts”. When the heart of killing is provoked, the opportunities for living will be gone. Do you agree with it?
Sorry, I am not capable of understand the traditional Chinese philosophies. It is really hard for me.
（December, 1999）
吴幼明答复众网友
各位网友：
你们好！我2007年3月16日在网上发表《一个被辞退民警的自白》以后，有很多朋友发贴表示支持，希望我进行行政复议，尽可能留在公安局里；还有很多朋友打电话要我公布银行帐户，说要为我捐款。也有朋友对我的被辞退表示质疑。现在我想将我的想法告诉朋友们：
1、 黄石市公安局是依法将我辞退的，单位没有任何过错，这全是我的错，是我咎由自取。辞退我根据的是“《中华人民共和国人民警察法》第二十二条 人民警察不得有下列行为：（十）从事营利性的经营活动或者受雇于任何个人或者组织；（十二）其他违法乱纪的行为。还有《公安机关人民警察辞退办法》第五条 人民警察有下列情形之一，错误比较严重又不宜给予行政开除处分的，应当予以辞退：（五）从事营利性的经营活动或者受雇于个人、组织的；（十四）有其他违法违纪行为的。”这两条我确实违反了。
2006年石市新闻出版局查出我从2000年起编印民刊《水沫》共计11100本。部分刊物通过广州市一夫书店、北京市白糖罐工作室、兰州市凤栖梧书店代卖，部分刊物个人直销。其中5张汇款单，共计金额1620元，经被申请人调查取证认定是申请人出售《水沫》期刊所得。这就是我从事营利性的经营活动的全部。黄石市新闻出版局统计我印书11100本，这需要多少钱他们不管；往外地汇书59包，共672公斤，这需要多少邮资他们也不管，我卖书得到1620元就被他们定性为从事营利性的经营活动。
黄石市某公安分局局长是书法家，很多人找他买字，他不是从事营利性的经营活动；黄石市公安局某支队长开了几家大酒店，交警从不管酒店门前的停车，他不是从事营利性的经营活动，因为老板是他妹妹；某些交警经营公汽和货车，他们不是从事营利性的经营活动，因为老板是他们的妻子或亲戚、朋友；我在巡警队时某大队长家开一酒店，他每月组织全队民警去他家的酒店去会餐一次，他不是从事营利性的经营活动，因为老板是他妻子；还有交警老婆开酒店，交警抓违章后叫违章司机到他家酒店消费就不罚款，可酒店里面却有小姐从事卖淫活动并被我抓过，但该交警没有从事营利性的经营活动；而我花30000多元做民刊，卖了1620元，虽然我亏了大本，但他们说卖一本书也是经营，所以我承认我从事了营利性的经营活动。
因为我编印《水沫》，石市新闻出版局根据国务院《出版管理条例》第五十五条、第五十六条之规定，决定给予我罚款贰万元、没收非法出版物《水沫》肆拾陆本的行政处罚。虽然我从2000年起编《水沫》并在黄石市文化圈里和全国发放，黄石市的报纸、电视台、电台都曾介绍过我和《水沫》，包括石市新闻出版局现任局长也在2003年收过我送的《水沫》，但从2006年5月后，《水沫》就成了非法出版物了。公开杂志《诗歌月刊》每年都出一期《民刊特大号》，每期选发几十份民刊内的作品，对每份入选的民刊还刊发刊物封面，公开主编联系地址，还附有主编谈刊物的编辑观念和倾向的文字；《水沫》也在2003、2005年两次入选过。现在2007年4月份的《诗歌月刊•民刊社团专号》又出版了，又收辑了很多民刊的介绍和内容，原来是我一个人编民刊《水沫》违法了，别人编民刊都没有违法。中国的法律太神奇了，我这么不懂法，还有违法行为，黄石市公安局辞退我怎么会错呢？
2、3月18日早上起床，我看到手机里有三条短信，其中一条是“老吴，挺住，胜利属于直面鲜血的勇士。”我想大家误会我了，我多次说过，我只是个小人物，我既不是英雄也不是斗士，我不想和任何人斗，也不恨任何人；我不想让任何人流血，我自己也不想流血。作为一个前民警，我在网络上发表《交警为什么都热爱罚款》、《罚款任务猛如虎》、《死人不销户，活人难上户》、《基层民警向两会进一言：政府行为中应该禁止截访行为》等文章，我认为这是尽我的工作职责，我对得起曾经穿过的这身警服，对得起我曾经拿过的公务员工资。全国有180万民警，最少有90万在基层，难道他们都不知道我说出的事实吗？我为我说了真话而自豪。但我写文章针对的是体制问题，并不针对任何具体的某位领导；我认为体制的问题不应由个人负责。我和任何领导都没有私人恩怨。
警察这个职业相对于公众来说，总是显得神秘，公众总是不知道警察们在干些什么。很多人都问过我：“警察是不是每天都在吃喝玩乐？警察是不是每个人都在捞黑钱，都和黑社会亲如兄弟？”这是多么可怕的误会。我之所以写这些文字，也是想重建警察的形象。我想让群众们知道，警察并不是无知，蛮横，贪婪的代名词，警察中也有想实实在在的为群众解决问题，勇于说出体制问题并认真思考解决办法的人。警察并不都是沉默的体制螺丝钉，只知惟命是从，没有独立的思考能力。
在我写《交警为什么都热爱罚款》时，我只是为了个人的尊严站出来反对大队领导对民警的任意侮辱，对法律的玩弄。是网友们的热情回复唤醒了我的公众意识，因为体制里有太多不合理的弊病，作为一名民警，我如果不说话，公众们根本不知道体制里是怎么回事，所以我想用自己的文章去指出问题所在，让体制变得透明，以利于各界人士集思广益，解决问题。可能我的想法太超前了，体制暂时无法象我想象的那样进行改变，我自己反而成了领导眼中的害群之马。交警支队里无法容忍一个不罚款的民警，整个黄石市公安局里也容不下我这个总是说出体制弊病的民警，所以我的被辞退是理所当然的事。既然体制暂时不能改变，那么只能将我赶出体制，才能让体制继续按旧的程序运转。我不怪任何领导，因为我说的这些问题，这不是他们某个人的努力就能改变的。事实上，领导们对我已经很宽容了，他们在各方面都很照顾我，比如我结婚，没请分局领导，可分局政治处主任主动要求做我的证婚人，分局纪委书记也参加了婚宴，我们所长也主动帮我借了三辆婚车接新娘。我奶奶死时，所里也派了车帮忙。还有领导曾托我的诗友带话，只要我不再乱说话，就把我调到市局机关工作。就在我被辞退的前几天，还有报纸工作的朋友说，我如果想调到黄石某报，他们可以帮我办调动手续。我可以说，领导们对我是仁至义尽了，他们一直都想用和谐的方式与我共处，是我的行为破坏了体制内的一团和气。我做不了体制里一颗沉默的符合要求的螺丝钉，我松动了，不但使不上劲，反而不断的发出杂音，万一掉在体制机器的齿轮里，还有可能导致整个体制停止运转。这样不合格的螺丝钉，怎么还可能留在体制机器里呢？
这次我被辞退，是解决我和体制之间摩擦的最好办法，我不会要求行政复议，我也不想再回到黄石市公安局里。我应该庆幸，我没有逼得领导们被迫使用更极端的手段来对付我，我们双方能这样合法的理性的分手，我还有什么可抱怨的呢？我不是危言耸听，请大家想想李文绢的遭遇，她到国税总局举报单位领导帮人逃税，这完全是为了国家利益，结果她被劳教一次，开除两次。央视记者问她，你早知道是这个结局你还敢举报吗？李文绢说我不敢了。难道大家希望我做李文绢吗？
我还可以说，黄石市公安局领导如果下狠手对付我，我的结局会比李文绢还惨。因为湖北省新闻出版局鉴定，《水沫NO.6》、《水沫NO.7》、《水沫NO.8》、《水沫•第11期》等属夹杂有违禁内容的非法出版物，《水沫•创刊号》、《水沫NO.7》、《水沫NO.9》、《水沫•第11期》、《70年代水沫特刊》等属夹杂有淫秽内容的非法出版物。尽管我可以负责任的说，《水沫》里没有一篇作品含违禁淫秽内容，我可以用女作家王安忆的小说《米尼》（江苏文艺出版社）相比较（文学水平的高低很难鉴别，但性描写的多少和尺度是任何人都可以判断出来的，《水沫》里没有一篇作品比王安忆小说《米尼》中的性描写更丰富和深入），如果说王安忆小说《米尼》是文学创作而《水沫》却是淫秽内容的话，我觉得这就是使用了双重鉴定标准。但是秀才遇到兵，有理讲不清，如果黄石市公安局领导将此事上升到刑法层面，弄不好会按《中国人民共和国刑法》 第三百六十三条“ 以牟利为目的，制作、复制、出版、贩卖、传播淫秽物品的，处三年以下有期徒刑、拘役或者管制，并处罚金；情节严重的，处三年以上十年以下有期徒刑，并处罚金；情节特别严重的，处十年以上有期徒刑或者无期徒刑，并处罚金或者没收财产。”来处理我。因为鉴定标准掌握在别人手中，我个人的解释是没有用的，我怎么能知道他们会找什么人来鉴定？又会得出什么样的鉴定结果呢？1993年黄石艺术家马六明在北京裸体表演行为艺术时，被北京市公安局拘留，理由是黄色表演，警察请的是北京画院和中央美院的所谓的“专家”作的鉴定。后来马六明成为国际著名的行为艺术家，作品也收入多种选本的中国当代艺术史，当初那份黄色表演的鉴定书早已成为笑话。我怎么能知道就没有一些丧失了学术良知的作家、评论家作出鉴定说《水沫》里含有违禁淫秽内容，不是文学创作呢 ？从这一点来说，我被辞退，真的要感谢黄石市公安局领导的仁慈。
3、 我被辞退，黄石市公安局还要给我一些辞退金（大约一年工龄算2000多元，这比一些国营企业职工买断工龄时一年工龄算500多元强多了），还要给我房改的钱和公积金等等；如果他们开除我的话，我一分钱都拿不到。公安机关是首长负责制，我说了那么多在体制内看来是不应该说出去的秘密，领导们为我不知道操了多少心，受了多少累，挨了多少上级领导的批评啊！虽然辞退金不多，但也比没有好，人要知道感恩，毕竟我给领导们添了太多麻烦，而领导们还不计前嫌，这真是宰相肚里能撑船啊。
4、 有很多网友用邮件、短信、电话等方式对我说要为我捐款，我感激你们的好意，但我要再次说明：我只需要你们的精神支持，不需要你们的物质支持。虽然我和妻子都没有工作，但我们都还年轻，我们有手有脚，身体健康，我们想要自力更生。网友们并不欠我一分钱，我没有任何理由接受网友们的经济援助。我不能因为说了几句真话就认为自己从此后就有权利不劳而获，我只想用自己的劳动重新寻找社会定位，我不想成为让人同情的社会寄生虫。
我个人比较推崇中国传统的几个文化境界，比如“安贫乐道”、“随遇而安”，“不以物喜，不以己悲”，不是说我已经达到了上述境界，但虽不能至，心向往之。我的物质欲望很低，不需要多少钱就可以快乐的生活，请网友们放心。我和妻子都过得很好，比下岗工人的生活强多了。如果你们真的很想为我们捐款的话，请你转送给你身边那些比我更需要帮助的人。我相信只要睁开双眼，你们每个人身边都很容易找到那些困苦的人。有个网友给我打了两个电话，他说他是个小老百姓，没有钱，也帮不上我什么忙。他的语气很内疚，似乎很对不住我。我被他的真诚感动！
5、3月16日晚上，我有点失眠，在床上辗转反侧，心里有些茫然。毕竟我在公安机关里工作了十三年，穿了这么多年警服，突然被辞退了，与黄石市公安局没有关系了，心理上还是有点不适应。以前每月可以领到工资，以后没人给我发工资了，我就象一个孩子被突然断奶，以后一切都得靠我自己。我更担心我年迈的父母，他们知道这件事后，会不会为我伤心。
3月17日晚上，妹妹将我被辞退的消息告诉了父母。3月18日上午，我回家向他们解释。父亲还好，母亲哭得象个孩子，她怪我不懂事，这么大的事也不和家人商量就自己做主，轻易的丢掉了公务员的工作。母亲说她昨夜一夜都没有睡着，心痛的不行，她问我，你什么都没有做错，为什么会被辞退？母亲还说她要去找黄石市公安局局长评理。我也哭了，我怪自己，都33岁了，还让母亲伤心流泪。我有个朋友的母亲在五十多岁时，因打麻将摸到好牌而中风死亡，我真怕母亲激动过份而犯病。我终于和母亲讲通道理，她不哭了，我心头才放下大石。
我父亲吴业权和母亲戴哲梅于1971年结婚，当时父亲是胡家湾煤矿工人，母亲是个农民，他们一无所有，只有奶奶欠下的800元债务。1973年，母亲的肚子里怀下了我，依然在辛苦工作挣钱。在我之前母亲流产过两个儿子，都是因为干锤石头的活儿太累而流掉的（均是怀胎五月后流产的，看得出胎儿性别）。那时城市里不准非城市户口的农村人居住，派出所民警到我父母家（出租房）中赶我母亲回乡，大肚子的母亲还和民警打了架，将板凳也摔坏了。那时母亲身体很好，力气大，民警看她是个孕妇，也不敢搞得太过火，就这样母亲顽强的“赖”在了黄石。
后来我的父母历尽千辛万苦，终于在五年里还清了奶奶的800元债务，还将奶奶、母亲、我、妹妹的户口转为黄石市的城市商品粮户口，这有多困难，只有那个时代办过农转非的人才能明白。母亲说她为了转户口找遍了各种关系，望人磕遍了头，在那个时候就送茅台酒和中华烟给别人。在我的印象中，我父母超级勤劳，他们贩过烟（那时“永光”香烟是高档的干部烟，销售时要搭配廉价的“游泳”烟），卖过梭毛衣（到上海进价七元一件，回黄石一件卖十八元还供不应求），日光灯管（也是上海进回的，当时只有乘船到上海，还没有挑夫，有钱也请不到人搬运，只能靠我父亲的扁担将一箱箱货挑着上下船），做裁缝（父亲帮母亲锁扣眼，他带不惯顶针，手上被针顶了个洞）……可以这样说，只要当时能想到的合法买卖，我家可能都经营过了。母亲说她那时只有一个想法：一定要让我和妹妹拥有城市户口，做个城市人！
我长大了，追求自己的人生方向，因为生活态度和价值观念的不同，我和父母发生过争吵，但我们彼此的爱护从来没有变过。我觉得每个人的生命都很重要，比如我，虽然是个小人物，但对我的爸爸、妈妈、妹妹、妻子来说，我很重要。对于我父母来说，他们不指望我升官发财，只要我能健康快乐的活着就好。我只想凭着自己的良知办事，安全的活在中国，和我的家人生活在一起。我爱我的家人和妻子，我不能拿我的生命当儿戏，这是对他们的不负责任，我只想尽我作为一个儿子和丈夫的职责。我认为一个人如果连家人都不爱的话，他说他爱祖国爱人民爱真理那都是放屁。
网友们，我有这样伟大的父母，所以我不愿意为任何理想、主义流血牺牲。我不是你们想象的英雄，我也无法扮演一个英雄，我只能做我自己。如果这样说让你们失望，那我只能说声抱歉。今天是我33岁生日，中午我和妻子在父母家吃饭，父母为我准备了生日蛋糕和丰盛的饭菜，我在他们面前是个工作了17年依然是个民警，现在连工作都没保住，事业失败的儿子，但他们依然爱我，超过世界上任何一个人。
吴幼明
2007/3/21
13177303030
Wuyouming0714@tom.com